As the day of the Chernobyl disaster nears , it will be 25 years ago on April 26 , that the reactor had a core meltdown and our world suddenly became radio active!
The world watched while commandos of "volunteers ",did what they could to contain the damage and radiation.These people all succumbed to the fatal effects of radiation disease. Sadly their death did not prevent the contamination of a whole continent!
Due to unfavourable weather conditions , the radioactive clouds spread all over Europe and rained their deadly cargo onto the ground.
It was spring and plants and animals were fertile and growing.
We were told to have none of it! No eating of spring greens,picking of flowers and drinking of milk , lest we would add to the radio active exposure .
Kids were not allowed to play outside on the grass, pets activities were restricted , contaminated shoes were to be left outside and feet had to be washed off before entering the house.
The worst was , the danger was silent, has no smell and no shape.
We were all shell shocked that our lives were so gravely affected by something from so far away.
Timely and eerily, almost to the day , the world is again watching as Fukushimas 4 reactors are in grave danger to contaminate our world.
Due to my in depth experience from 25 years ago I snapped into action, iodine-check,emergency ration of uncontaminated food-check,dubious about fish from anywhere in that region-check,listening to what is not being said or minimized-check.
Conflicting messages from the authorities were the norm and nothing much has changed.assume the worst and discover happily you were wrong in the first place .Don't let your guard down.
25 years ago, I decided at some point to ignore all the dire warnings and I went to pick mushrooms which were growing untouched in large numbers.I ate them of course and now I am worried that my time is up , they say cancers can develop 20-30 years after the fact.
That is my legacy.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Full Moon Night-Full Mourn Night
Every so often I wake up in the middle of the night and find myself in tears , having just been very close to my parents and than realizing that they are gone.
This is what came to my mind tonight.
...and at night come the memories
fragments of normal, not designed to be remembered
words spoken not intended for eternity
a touch given or received not known to be the last one
vignettes of before ,like a kaleidoscope of loss
all these memories-beyond reach
what's left is emptiness
This is what came to my mind tonight.
...and at night come the memories
fragments of normal, not designed to be remembered
words spoken not intended for eternity
a touch given or received not known to be the last one
vignettes of before ,like a kaleidoscope of loss
all these memories-beyond reach
what's left is emptiness
Monday, March 14, 2011
15 coats
As I was tidying the hall closet to make room for visitor coats , I decided to hang some of my winter coats into my other closet. There were not enough coat hangers so I needed to retrieve hangers from my tertiary closet, in order to hang up my various true winter jackets .It hit me suddenly , that I seemed to have a problem , too many coats. My guess was 10 , my count revealed 15,.....15????!!!!
Apparently I live in a country with more winter months than anything else.
The question is, should I get rid of some of those lovely coats , or keep them? Which ones should I give away?
There is my blue mohair designer coat from Montreal-absolutely no way, I'll part with that one.
My new white down coat from Vuarnet, I need it for the coldest days.
My black three quarter length down coat with leopard lining-not anytime soon.
My grey jacket with diagonal closure -far too unique to give up.
My brown and orange fake fur jacket-just right for the most dreary days during winter.
My light blue fluffy fake fur jacket-such an attention seeker, much needed when it snows and snows and snows.
My German Trachtenmantel-what am I going to wear to all the events at the Austrian Club?
My other German coat with the most beautiful fur collar -it would break my heart.
My ski jacket-dumb question.
Dad's shear ling coat-still thinking about what I could do with it.
My new winter riding jacket-stupid, it is new!
My farm down jacket-ideal for chores with cats and horses and Italian designer to boot.
My old farm down jacket- I love it.
Mom's fur jacket- can't part with that one.
My when it is not so cold riding jacket- what else am I going to wear on those days?
It is probably easiest to make this decision when it is warmer, so let's wait a while.
But , come to think of it, my old golden farm jacket has had a good and full filled life, let's say good bye and retire it to Good Will.
But none of the others can go, I need every one of them to express my need for warmth , or to externalize my feelings .
And to think, other people collect shoes- hard to comprehend!( I own enough of those as well and still don't seem to have the right ones available.)
Apparently I live in a country with more winter months than anything else.
The question is, should I get rid of some of those lovely coats , or keep them? Which ones should I give away?
There is my blue mohair designer coat from Montreal-absolutely no way, I'll part with that one.
My new white down coat from Vuarnet, I need it for the coldest days.
My black three quarter length down coat with leopard lining-not anytime soon.
My grey jacket with diagonal closure -far too unique to give up.
My brown and orange fake fur jacket-just right for the most dreary days during winter.
My light blue fluffy fake fur jacket-such an attention seeker, much needed when it snows and snows and snows.
My German Trachtenmantel-what am I going to wear to all the events at the Austrian Club?
My other German coat with the most beautiful fur collar -it would break my heart.
My ski jacket-dumb question.
Dad's shear ling coat-still thinking about what I could do with it.
My new winter riding jacket-stupid, it is new!
My farm down jacket-ideal for chores with cats and horses and Italian designer to boot.
My old farm down jacket- I love it.
Mom's fur jacket- can't part with that one.
My when it is not so cold riding jacket- what else am I going to wear on those days?
It is probably easiest to make this decision when it is warmer, so let's wait a while.
But , come to think of it, my old golden farm jacket has had a good and full filled life, let's say good bye and retire it to Good Will.
But none of the others can go, I need every one of them to express my need for warmth , or to externalize my feelings .
And to think, other people collect shoes- hard to comprehend!( I own enough of those as well and still don't seem to have the right ones available.)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Homesick
Sadly, there are a few occasions when I am homesick for Germany.
Many are of private nature, as parents birthdays and their days of passing, but some are absolutely frivolous like Carnival and New Years Eve.
What would I give for another New Years Eve party with dinner , dance and followed by watching the fireworks at midnight.Scare away the bad spirits and welcome the new year. It appears that here in Canada are allowed to linger and create havoc for as long as they want. Good example , look at the current state of politics . Harper could have easily been scared away with the right amount of fireworks and rejoicing!
Yesterday was Rosenmontag , the main event in a series of special occasions during the time of carnival which starts on 11.11 at 11:11in Germany.Note in Canada this day is Remembrance day, starting on 11.11 at 11:11.
How much more dreary can it possibly be?
Rosenmontag is dedicated to showing parades everywhere , with floats displaying witty, tongue in cheek ways of day to day events of political, religious and sexual nature.People attend to have a good time, which involves singing along, dancing on the streets , throwing of candy and perhaps the odd glass of beer being consumed. Yes, candies are being thrown, without danger of being sued, if you see a candy flying at you, just duck, that is all there is to it.
However , Prinz Werner and Prinzessin Heike took matters in their own hands and created the setting.
We sat out on our porch and pretended to take in the "Zuch"(the parade).
We had our own Prinzengarde, die Schwarzweissen Funken , (our black and white cats ) to honour our presence and songs from the carnival in Cologne were playing in the background.
The Gewurztraminer went down nicely, while we reminisced about fun carnival memories.
As always , we had more fun pretending than we anticipated and the day ended with a tear or two for not being where the action is and some Kamelle (candies ) to soothe the pain.
Many are of private nature, as parents birthdays and their days of passing, but some are absolutely frivolous like Carnival and New Years Eve.
What would I give for another New Years Eve party with dinner , dance and followed by watching the fireworks at midnight.Scare away the bad spirits and welcome the new year. It appears that here in Canada are allowed to linger and create havoc for as long as they want. Good example , look at the current state of politics . Harper could have easily been scared away with the right amount of fireworks and rejoicing!
Yesterday was Rosenmontag , the main event in a series of special occasions during the time of carnival which starts on 11.11 at 11:11in Germany.Note in Canada this day is Remembrance day, starting on 11.11 at 11:11.
How much more dreary can it possibly be?
Rosenmontag is dedicated to showing parades everywhere , with floats displaying witty, tongue in cheek ways of day to day events of political, religious and sexual nature.People attend to have a good time, which involves singing along, dancing on the streets , throwing of candy and perhaps the odd glass of beer being consumed. Yes, candies are being thrown, without danger of being sued, if you see a candy flying at you, just duck, that is all there is to it.
However , Prinz Werner and Prinzessin Heike took matters in their own hands and created the setting.
We sat out on our porch and pretended to take in the "Zuch"(the parade).
We had our own Prinzengarde, die Schwarzweissen Funken , (our black and white cats ) to honour our presence and songs from the carnival in Cologne were playing in the background.
The Gewurztraminer went down nicely, while we reminisced about fun carnival memories.
As always , we had more fun pretending than we anticipated and the day ended with a tear or two for not being where the action is and some Kamelle (candies ) to soothe the pain.
My blog is being read
Wow, I talked to my friend Bettina the other day , who was all enthusiastic about my blog. Great, getting compliments is nice.
It really hit me only later, my blog is being read!
For some reason, I imagined myself inside this velvety secure cave , surrounded by my attempts of literary greatness, as the hermit from Horsecreek road in her rotatable writing hut, free after Bernhard Shaw(more about that on some later entry)
Readers were never part of this fantasy.
How odd of me to not consider this part of the equation-on a blog no less!
It took me weeks to resume writing, because I felt I had to consider my readership!
Well, I am back , inconsiderate and uninhibited where I left off.
It really hit me only later, my blog is being read!
For some reason, I imagined myself inside this velvety secure cave , surrounded by my attempts of literary greatness, as the hermit from Horsecreek road in her rotatable writing hut, free after Bernhard Shaw(more about that on some later entry)
Readers were never part of this fantasy.
How odd of me to not consider this part of the equation-on a blog no less!
It took me weeks to resume writing, because I felt I had to consider my readership!
Well, I am back , inconsiderate and uninhibited where I left off.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
February 13,2011 Flobert
Today is a very special day for me.
Chris is going to bring my father's gun home and I am going to shoot it again. This is so exciting!
Getting the gun to Canada was not without challenges.
It started in Germany , with Dad telling me, that the gun was not registered. So when Dad moved to the nursing home, I suddenly had a non registered and therefore illegal gun on my hands. No chance to bring it to Canada!
My Cousin was kind enough to grant safe storage for the weapon , until I knew what to do with it.
There was never time to deal with Dad's gun while he was still alive and so I kind of forgot about it.
After Dad's passing and my subsequent grief , I went through some of his paperwork and found, guess what? The gun registration! All the angst, for nothing.
My relief was of short duration, the city of Neuwied was hot on my heals to find the whereabouts of Herr Kretschmers weapon.
My cousin and I talked it through and I forwarded his address to the city.
Because it took a while for Chris to find out, what rules and regulations to gun import from Germany applied, the German police got involved and hunted my cousin down.
He is now known to them as a unregistered gun owner. The horror of it all.
He was however able to ship the gun to Chris , who as a hunter and my stepson, was able to claim ownership .
The gun arrived Wednesday.
My cousin will be so relieved , that he is again an innocent man in the eyes of the law. Chris just need to provide him with a paper , stating the arrival here in Canada.
The best part today is not , that the gun is coming to me, but what I am planning to do with it.
Chris will find out today that he is going to be the official heir to this weapon.
He and my Dad hit it off when they met and I am sure Dad would love for him to own his Flobert.It makes me happy to give Chris something which connects him to my family and particularly to my Dad.
The only caveat is, I want to shoot it every once in awhile!
Chris is going to bring my father's gun home and I am going to shoot it again. This is so exciting!
Getting the gun to Canada was not without challenges.
It started in Germany , with Dad telling me, that the gun was not registered. So when Dad moved to the nursing home, I suddenly had a non registered and therefore illegal gun on my hands. No chance to bring it to Canada!
My Cousin was kind enough to grant safe storage for the weapon , until I knew what to do with it.
There was never time to deal with Dad's gun while he was still alive and so I kind of forgot about it.
After Dad's passing and my subsequent grief , I went through some of his paperwork and found, guess what? The gun registration! All the angst, for nothing.
My relief was of short duration, the city of Neuwied was hot on my heals to find the whereabouts of Herr Kretschmers weapon.
My cousin and I talked it through and I forwarded his address to the city.
Because it took a while for Chris to find out, what rules and regulations to gun import from Germany applied, the German police got involved and hunted my cousin down.
He is now known to them as a unregistered gun owner. The horror of it all.
He was however able to ship the gun to Chris , who as a hunter and my stepson, was able to claim ownership .
The gun arrived Wednesday.
My cousin will be so relieved , that he is again an innocent man in the eyes of the law. Chris just need to provide him with a paper , stating the arrival here in Canada.
The best part today is not , that the gun is coming to me, but what I am planning to do with it.
Chris will find out today that he is going to be the official heir to this weapon.
He and my Dad hit it off when they met and I am sure Dad would love for him to own his Flobert.It makes me happy to give Chris something which connects him to my family and particularly to my Dad.
The only caveat is, I want to shoot it every once in awhile!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
February 12,2011 My Favourite Patient
It was about 3 years ago, that we lost a patient suffering from pulmonary embolism in the Cardiac OR. This patient was not only a fellow skier, but also a fellow German. The same night, another skier arrived in the cath lab , after suffering from cardiac arrest at the bottom of a ski hill.He was also from Germany and I was told , that he did not speak any English.
Next day , I went to see him , just in case he needed some one to phone his family.
It was deemed , that he needed coronary artery bypass grafting and I helped the surgeon to obtain consent. I stayed on, to explain in more detail, what would happen during the operation.
After his surgery was scheduled, I promised to attend him in the OR , to alleviate his fears.
During his recovery I made sure to visit him , every day . German newspapers, the odd piece of cake and later some real good cup of coffee, where little treats I brought to brighten his day.
We talked a lot and decided to stay in contact , even after , his surgeon released him to go back home to Germany.
Colourful postcards started arriving with news of his remarkable recovery from all over Germany .With it , his wish to meet during one my frequent visits in Germany.
After some long deliberation I agreed and I am thankful I did. He told me , how profoundly his meeting me during his touch with death had changed his life. After receiving all the encouragement from a stranger like me, he decided to change his life. He became less selfish and shared his good fortunes with less fortunate people. He reconciled with his family. He changed for a healthy lifestyle , quit smoking and started to eat healthier.
He believed in kindness again!
Sadly, he passed away in his sleep, 2 years after his first arrest, only 67 years old.
Meeting him, gave me the incredible opportunity to see first hand what impact my long hours of work in the cardiac OR can have. I cherish every conversation I had with this patient and it made me appreciate how truly wonderful it is to work as a nurse.
Next day , I went to see him , just in case he needed some one to phone his family.
It was deemed , that he needed coronary artery bypass grafting and I helped the surgeon to obtain consent. I stayed on, to explain in more detail, what would happen during the operation.
After his surgery was scheduled, I promised to attend him in the OR , to alleviate his fears.
During his recovery I made sure to visit him , every day . German newspapers, the odd piece of cake and later some real good cup of coffee, where little treats I brought to brighten his day.
We talked a lot and decided to stay in contact , even after , his surgeon released him to go back home to Germany.
Colourful postcards started arriving with news of his remarkable recovery from all over Germany .With it , his wish to meet during one my frequent visits in Germany.
After some long deliberation I agreed and I am thankful I did. He told me , how profoundly his meeting me during his touch with death had changed his life. After receiving all the encouragement from a stranger like me, he decided to change his life. He became less selfish and shared his good fortunes with less fortunate people. He reconciled with his family. He changed for a healthy lifestyle , quit smoking and started to eat healthier.
He believed in kindness again!
Sadly, he passed away in his sleep, 2 years after his first arrest, only 67 years old.
Meeting him, gave me the incredible opportunity to see first hand what impact my long hours of work in the cardiac OR can have. I cherish every conversation I had with this patient and it made me appreciate how truly wonderful it is to work as a nurse.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)